I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
sarcasm needs its own font
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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