The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
