hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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