bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
