Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
