well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
