I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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