At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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