If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
