is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
