We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
