I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize