Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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