You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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