That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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