idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
