Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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