yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize