So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
