Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
