I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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