I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
