Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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