went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
