And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
