Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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