My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
