I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize