i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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