I want to walk on stilts...naked
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
