i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
