I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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