I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
