Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
