I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
