Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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