Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
