pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
