i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
