hotel room ftw
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
