Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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