it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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