i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
