I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
