Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
