I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
