I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
