if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i will never coherently bang her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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