Christians are straight up FREAKS
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
