How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
