Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
