Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
