Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
