Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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