Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize