even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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