Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
