I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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