After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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