Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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