I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
