You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
