I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
